the Hofstadter equation
by Chloe Llewellyn 39
Summary: What happens when Penny realises she's pregnant with Leonard's baby
1. Chapter 1

Penny Hofstadter blew gently on her freshly made cup of tea and sighed. Her husband's snoring had become so loud that night that she'd had to spend the night on the sofa. This had been going on for a few nights now and her neck was aching from the surprisingly uncomfortable sofa that had been in the apartment longer than she had even lived in the building. She stretched again, trying to shake the pain, and the problem that was niggling at her.

Leonard Hofstadter woke up with a start. He rolled over to say good morning to his wife, but she wasn't there. He wasn't sure what was wrong with Penny at the moment. Her normal jokey personality had been replaced with a somewhat dreary one. He kept asking what was bothering her, but was always met with the same response 'I'm okay, don't worry about it'

Penny was glad it was Saturday. She'd had a hard week and spending the last few nights on the sofa hadn't helped. Her phone beeped a message and she picked it up, scanning the words that were written on the screen, she wasn't sure whether she wanted to answer or not. It was from her best friend, Amy Fowler

You know where I am if you need a chat xxx

"Damn it" Penny exclaimed out loud "she always knows when something's wrong"

Come in and have a chat then xxx

"It didn't take long for Amy to walk through Penny's door. She lived with her husband, Sheldon, just across the hall in Penny's old apartment  
"Morning" Amy looked sympathetically at her friend "you need to tell me what's wrong, is there anything I can do?"

Leonard had heard the commotion of Amy coming into the apartment and decided to see if he could hear. He crept out of the bedroom and stood just out of view in the hallway. He didn't normally snoop on his wife. Amy always had a way to get Penny to listen.  
"I don't know really" Penny dropped her head into her hands and felt a single tear running down her face "I think I might be pregnant"  
"What" Amy was so shocked by what Penny had said, she needed a second to let it sink in "say that again"  
"I think I might be pregnant" Penny said, much louder this time "and I don't know what to do"  
"Wow" Amy still wasn't sure what to say "but I thought you didn't want children"  
"I didn't" Penny shrugged, remembering how upset Leonard had been when she had told him this a few weeks ago "but it looks like Mother Nature has other ideas"  
"Have you done a test?"  
"Not this month" Penny rolled her eyes; she swore she kept 'Clear Blue' in business "I've been in this position before, but never this long"  
Amy looked at her "well, don't you think you should get one, I'll be here when you do it if you want"  
Penny shrugged "But I don't want to know, Amy, while I don't know I can pretend it's not happening, and I can carry on with my lovely life with Leonard, not worrying that my body is going to change, and my boobs are going to sag, and my life is going to be unrecognisable"  
"Okay, okay" Amy ran straight over to her friend and hugged her tight "but you need to know, Penny, you can't sit there and pretend it's not happening, I mean have you told Leonard?"  
"No" Penny could feel her eyes filling with tears again "I don't want him to know yet, he's going to get so excited and I don't know if I can cope with that right now"

Leonard turned and walked away. He had heard the whole thing and it had upset him. Why didn't Penny want him to know? Why had she told Amy first? Why was she so upset about the whole thing? He slipped quietly into the bedroom they shared to get dressed and think about what he was going to do.  
"You're just overwhelmed" Amy reassured her "you need to do this test and then, whatever the result, you need to talk to Leonard"  
"Penny took a sip of her now cold tea and pulled a face. She threw it all down the sink and walked into the bathroom. She knew she had a test in there somewhere, from last time. As she looked through the drawers the tears carried on falling silently down her face  
"What are you looking for?" Leonard interrupted her thoughts  
"Penny stopped immediately and tried to wipe the tears away from her face "oh, a spare toothbrush" penny responded quickly "I dropped mine"  
"Okay" Leonard responded, not really believing her "that was a bit silly"  
"I know, right" Penny forced a smile "don't think I'm with it today"  
"Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, I will be, just tired"  
"Come on" Leonard smiled at his wife "tell me"  
"There's nothing to tell" Penny was starting to get frustrated with her husband, he just wouldn't leave her alone "can I have some privacy please?"  
"Sure" Leonard walked away, a little annoyed "I'll leave you to it"

As he walked away from his clearly upset wife, Leonard hesitated and turned to say something, anything, but he couldn't get the words to come he just hugged her and let her sob on his shoulder. He didn't know how long they had been stood there for when she pulled away and looked him in the eyes. Her face was all puffy from the crying and the mascara from the day before had started to run down her face like roots of a tree  
"I'm pregnant" Penny whispered to him, so quietly that he wasn't sure what she had said  
"You're pregnant?" Leonard asked her softly, he couldn't stop the smile emerging from the side of his mouth  
"I think so" Penny responded, half a smile appeared on her face too, "I haven't done a test yet"  
"Wow" Leonard couldn't believe it "is that what you were looking for?"  
"Yes, sorry I didn't know how to tell you"  
"Well you've told me now" Leonard's smile had now turned into a beam "and I'm really happy"


	2. Chapter 2

Penny had finally sent Leonard off to Sheldon's while she took the pregnancy test that she had found in the drawers next to the spare toothbrushes. Over the years she had taken many pregnancy tests. This time though, felt a little different. She had allowed Amy to stand outside while she took the test, but drew the line at actually having her in the bathroom when she actually did it. Penny hadn't wanted Amy there when she found out, but when it actually came to it she needed her for support.

Penny and Amy watched as two lines appeared on the pregnancy test. Penny Hofstadter was pregnant and, as the tears rolled down her face, suddenly she felt different about things. She felt that maybe she could do it. Maybe she could be a mom and things would be okay. But she was still a little unsure; she turned to Amy, whose eyes were also filled with tears

"I'm going to be a mommy" Penny smiled "Can you believe it?"

"I can" Amy smiled "I knew you were, you're my best friend"

"Do you think I can do this?"

"Of course you can" Amy took Penny's hands in hers and looked her straight in the eyes "Penny, you can do anything you put your mind to, think of all the things you've done in your life, you moved out here on your own and took on a job while you tried to achieve your dream"

"But I didn't manage it" Penny responded "I'm not a famous actress"

"No" Amy responded "you're not. But you're so much more than that. You're my best friend, you're a amazing wife to Leonard, look at how you've helped to change Sheldon into the man he is today. Leonard will be a amazing father, and you will be a amazing mother"

"It's just a different dream"

"Exactly. You work hard in your job and you're happy" Amy smiled as she remembered all the memories that they had had together "and Leonard loves you so much me married you twice"

"He did" she smiled "maybe we can do this, me and Leonard, together"

Leonard sat in Sheldon and Amy's apartment and constantly checked his watch. Surely pregnancy tests only took two minutes to show the results. Sheldon was waffling on about something, but he didn't know, or care, what it was. Maybe Penny wasn't pregnant and Amy was consoling her, maybe Penny was pregnant and Amy was consoling her, maybe Penny couldn't go thru with it.

"I can't do this any more" Leonard blurted out, interrupting Sheldon in the middle of a word "I can't just sit here"

"What's going on?" Sheldon asked, rather annoyed "I was telling you about the latest edition of Spiderman"

"Penny is over there taking a pregnancy test" Leonard shouted "that's much more important than Spiderman"

"Okay" sheldon looked even more annoyed "but if you listen to me then you'll have your mind on something else and the time wont seem as long"

"Sheldon" Leonard took a deep breath "this is what I have been looking forward to ever since Penny moved in. Ever since I saw her that day. My life has been much better since I've been married to her, and today is the day where I find out if our life is going to get even better than it is..."

"I'm pregnant" Penny bounded into the apartment with a massive smile upon her face "Leonard, you're going to be a Daddy"

"I'm going to be a Daddy?" Leonard asked, clearly shocked and unsure what else to say "me?"

"Yeah" Penny whispered "and I'm going to be a Mommy"

"Oh no" Sheldon rolled his eyes "not another one"

"Hey" Amy scolded him "this is a big day for them, why are you being like this?"

"We've already got Halley and Michael to put up with" Sheldon responded, referring to their other friends' children "and now we're going to have another baby around"

"What took so long?" Leonard asked, completely ignoring Sheldon's comments

"I was a little unsure if I could do it" Penny responded "but I've had a chat with Amy, and now I'm sure, together, we can"

"Penny, I love you" Leonard reassured her "we can get through anything as long as we do it together. We have always had a amazing relationship and this baby will just add to it. It'll be hard and it'll be amazing, but it will be a journey we can make together."


	3. Chapter 3

Penny sunk into bed that night, exhausted by the day's events. What had followed on from her heart to heart with Amy and telling Leonard all about it was a endless loop of telling people the good news. Howard and Bernadette had been so excited, a new playmate for Halley and Michael. Raj had cried. Leonard's mom had given them a nod of approval, which was all they could expect from her. Leonard's dad had been so excited about the prospect of another Grandchild. Penny's family couldn't believe it. Her sister's kids were getting older now and it would be lovely to have another baby in the family.

Penny was sure she would sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but she couldn't get off. She was so worried about what was ahead and how she had no control over it. Penny thought back to her recent appointment at the gynaecologist

"I'm sorry, Mrs Hofstadter" the doctor had told her "the chances of you becoming pregnant are very slim"

"Okay" Penny had responded, really unsure of what to say

"You need to talk to your husband"

"I know, thank you"

and that had been it. Penny didn't want to know what was wrong or if there were any other options such as IVF or adoption, she had just wanted to get out of there and get her head around it all. Now here she was, two and a half months later, pregnant.

Penny didn't get much sleep that night. Her mind was going backwards and forwards asking so many questions. Should she tell Leonard about her recent appointment? Should she tell him how worried she was about this baby? Should she open her heart to him and explain that over the years she had so many different scares that had never amounted to anything. That she had always suspected that she couldn't have children and had kind of made her peace with that.

"Leonard, wake up" Penny nudged him so hard it hurt a little bit and Leonard was worried that he would be left with a bruise

"What's wrong?" Leonard asked her, rubbing his arm

"I have a confession to make"

"Okay"

"a few weeks ago I wend to see my gynaecologist, and she told me that my chances of becoming pregnant were very slim

"Right" Leonard looked puzzled "so are you telling me you're not pregnant?"

"No" Penny reassured him "I am pregnant, but I don't know how"

"Did they say there was no chance?"

"No"

"Okay, so this baby is a miracle"

"I suppose so" Penny's eyes filled with tears, this surprised her, as she didn't think she had any more left to cry "I've had so many scares over the years, with you, with Zak, with other people"

"Penny" Leonard wiped the tears away from her eyes "what's wrong, you should be so happy?"

"I am" she responded "but I am also really scared about this"

"Why"

"Because I am worried that this baby isn't going to make it, that I'm going to have a miscarriage or something, you've got to understand, when someone tells you you're never going to be a mom and then two months later you are, it worries you"

"Penny, this baby is a miracle, a gift. This baby has been sent to us for a reason. I'm sure all will be fine, but if something like that does happen we will deal with it together, you and me, like we always do"

"I know" Penny sighed "I just can't help but worry"

"If you're that worried we will go and see a doctor as soon as we can and you can talk to him and get some reassurance"

"No, it's okay" Penny felt much better "I just needed to talk. I'm sure it will all be okay"

Amy didn't get much sleep that night either. She was so happy for Penny and Leonard, and new that Leonard had wanted this for twelve years, but she was also jealous. She loved Sheldon so much but was constantly frustrated that things went so slow with him. since their marriage their sex life had improved, but it had gone from once a year to once a month, and this wasn't really enough for Amy. she wanted children too and couldn't wait any longer. Amy didn't know how to broach the subject with Sheldon. she knew she'd have to do it gently and hope for the best.

As soon as she had spoken to Leonard, Penny went straight off to sleep. Leonard wasn't sure if she felt better or not, but he was pleased she was finally getting some rest. He rolled over to try and get back to sleep himself, but couldn't. He had known about a few of the times she had thought she was pregnant, bu both him and Zak, but now he was realising there were much more than he had been aware of. He thought he'd be angry, but he wasn't. He felt so much sorrow for Penny, how she had gone through all of that over the years without telling him even half of it. Leonard wished he could turn back time and hold her every time she had gone through this, let her cry it out even if it wasn't his baby. He knew that she hadn't been sincere when she had told everyone she didn't want children, and now he knew why.

Leonard wondered if she had told Amy or Bernadette the full story or if she had kept it all to herself. He hoped she had spoken to one, or both, of them, but believed she probably hadn't. Penny wasn't one for telling everyone her deepest, darkest secrets or thing that upset her even though it would unburden her. She didn't want to burden anyone else with anything that upset her so much, as she knew it would upset them too.

"Wow" Leonard said out loud, but quietly so as not to wake Penny "my wife is amazing"


	4. Chapter 4

Sheldon Cooper was a funny sort of fellow. He never really understood the idea of relationships, friendly or romantic, until one day. One day everything changed for him. He managed it really well, that was something he was really good at, but gradually over the years he had found a way to let it out, knowing by this time that he wouldn't get hurt. Amy Farrah Fowler had totally changed him. He had lost his virginity to her and now they were married. His mom couldn't believe it and, if he was honest, he couldn't believe it either. But now he was hit with another dilemma. Babies. Howard and Bernadette had two, Halley was now two and Michael's first birthday was rapidly coming their way and now Leonard and Penny were going to have a baby. He was so happy for them. He knew that this baby would't change things, just like Halley and Michael hadn't.

Amy rolled over in bed and sleepily looked into the living room. It was six thirty on a Sunday morning, but Sheldon was already up and eating his breakfast. She knew life was about to change again, what with Penny's baby on the way, and she knew that Sheldon found change difficult. But this time seemed different. Normally he would have his big boy tantrum and then life would be okay as Sheldon found a way to deal with it but they had known about baby Hofstadter for over a week now and he still seemed different.

The last week had been difficult for Sheldon, he didn't like not being the centre of attention at the best of times, but now he had to deal with both his dilemma and Leonard being the number one man in their clique. Everyone at CalTech had been really excited about the news, even Lesley Winkle, one of Leonard's ill-advised hookups from years ago had taken an interest and Burt couldn't stop talking about the baby. Now Sheldon started to think about whether Amy would like a baby too. Shame it wasn't that easy. He wanted to give her all she wanted, but wasn't sure if he could cope with being a father right now.

Amy quietly got out of bed and got dressed. She knew that Penny wouldn't be up yet, morning sickness had kicked in over the last week and it had forced Penny to take some time off from work, unheard of for the number one selling pharmaceuticals saleswoman to her company, and had left her exhausted. Amy heard Leonard moving around in the apartment and smiled, neither she nor Sheldon could remember a time when he had been so happy. Every time he saw someone new, he told them and some of them he told more than once.

Penny rolled over, took one look at the clock radio that was sat on her bedside table and sighed. She couldn't remember the last time sh got out of med after ten in the morning. She could hear the television on in the living room and the tapping of keys on a keyboard. She knew that Leonard would be using the time to to his advantage before the baby was born and he didn't have any time for things like that.

Penny managed to pull herself onto the edge of the bed and waited for a while for the sickie feeling and dizziness to pass. She hoped that this wouldn't go on for too long, she hated feeling sick and felt guilty about not going to work. As she staggered out of the room, she just about managed to get to the arm chair before she threw up again in one of the buckets that had been placed strategically around the apartment

"You feeling any better?" Leonard regretted the question straight away and could tell from her face that she wasn't, and that she wanted to kill him "sorry"

"it's okay" Penny responded as sarcastically as she could manage "it's not like this is your fault or anything, right?"

"In my defence" Leonard smiled "you let me do it to you"

"yeah" she responded "remind me not to do that again"

"What are you going to do about work tomorrow?"

"I don't know, I'm supposed to be going out with Bernadette at lunch time but I can't see that happening"

"No"

"I'm worried about Amy" Penny told him, wondering where it had come from

"I think we're all worried about Amy" Leonard laughed "I mean, come on, she married Sheldon, on purpose"

"True" Penny laughed "but no, I mean I think she's a bit upset about all of this"

"You mean the baby?"

"yeah" Penny wiped her brow with one of the towels that had also been strategically placed around the apartment "I'm worried she's a bit jealous"

"Possibly" Leonard thought for a moment "but can you imagine Sheldon wanting to have a baby?"

"No, but then I never imagined he'd want to get married either" Penny yawned "maybe I should speak to Amy"

"Speaking of which" Leonard took the opportunity to change the subject "did you tell Amy or Bernadette about the fact that you didn't think you could have children?"

Penny shook her head "I didn't want to burden them, they didn't need this"

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Yes" Penny closed her eyes as another wave of the sickie feeling passed over her "I told my dad"

"That's good" Leonard felt relieved that she had had someone to talk to "that also explains his reaction when we told him"

"Yeah" Penny managed to not be sick that time "when I told you I didn't want children and then spoke to my dad, that's when i told him"

"Well" Leonard smiled at her "I'm glad you could unburden yourself on someone"

"I'm sorry" Penny shook her head "I just didn't want to hurt you until I had gotten my own head around it, I felt like it was my fault that I couldn't give you the child you wanted"

"I wouldn't have blamed you" Leonard assured her, a little hurt that she would think that of him "I would have been upset but we would have got through it, hey, you and me can get through anything, surely we've proved that"

"Well it doesn't matter now" Penny smiled and then grabbed the bucket to throw up into

"Good job the romance is still alive" Leonard chuckled to himself as he rubbed her back


	5. Chapter 5

As the months pssed, Penny's sickness eased and she started to really enjoy her pregnancy. She still hadn't had a chance to speak to Amy about her jealousy, although it had become more and more evident as time as passed. Leonard had even spoken to Sheldon about it, but he hadn't told Penny what had been said, and Penny didn't want to know. She was far too concerned about her upcoming baby appointment where they would find out the sex of the baby.

"Hi fatty" Leonard joked "how was your day?"

"I may be pregnant but I can still hurt you" Penny quipped, she sat down on the sofa and sighed "work is really taking it out of me"

"So I've got all of this evening to make fun of you" Leonard teased "no seriously how are you feeling"

"A little tired, but not too bad" Penny smiled "glad this sickness is passing"

"me too"

"Looking forward to tomorrow" Penny said truthfully "I can't wait to find out if little Hoff is a boy or girl"

"Is that what you've been calling the baby?" Leonard laughed "little Hoff?"

"Yeah" Penny smiled "well, my boss came up with it"

"It's cute"

"the baby is going to need a proper name though"

"We'll worry about that tomorrow" Leonard smiled "he had a few names in mind, but he wasn't sure Penny would like them, they were all either scientific or connected to comic books in some way.

"IT'S A GIRL" Penny shouted in delight as she ran into her apartment where everyone was sitting, waiting on the news "little Hoff is a girl"

"That's amazing" Bernadette was brought to tears "Penny, I never thought you'd have a baby, but I'm so pleased for you, is everything okay?"

"Yep" the joy in Leonard's face was evident too "a healthy baby girl"

"just one?" Howard teased "Not twins?"

"No" Penny smiled "not twins, thank god"

"Excuse me" Amy couldn't sit there any more, she was really upset, but didn't want to ruin Penny and Leonard's moment. Amy had spoken to Sheldon a few weeks ago and he had told her that he wasn't ready. He wanted children but wanted them to be married for a while before they took it to the next level. Amy was annoyed, they had had an argument and Amy had spent that night falling off the sofa. She wasn't getting any younger and Penny's pregnancy had brought home the fact that if they didn't do it soon, they may never have children.

"Look at what you've done now" Sheldon shook hi head "all this talk about the baby has upset Amy"

"They're allowed to discuss it" Bernadette insisted "they've just come back from the scan, Amy knew this was coming"

"I'll go and talk to her" Penny sighed; she knew Amy was finding this hard. Whenever Penny brought up the subject she could hear the hurt in Amy's responses and see it in her eyes

"I'm so sorry" Amy begged "I didn't mean to ruin your moment"

"It's okay" Penny responded "you didn't, I had a feeling this was getting to you, why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to keep it to myself" Amy walked away with a tissue "but clearly I couldn't any more, and I'm not handling this very well"

"You should have told me" Penny took Amy in her arms and gave her a massive hug "I knew you weren't doing very well, but I didn't realise it was this bad. Why didn't you say anything? Aren't you happy for us?"

"Oh Penny" Amy hated the fact that Penny thought that of her "of course I am, I just, I just want what you have"

"What I have?" Penny considered her response, hopeful that she could turn this around with a funny comment "to be sick every morning and a husband who is so concerned and attentive that it's stifling"

"If Sheldon was attentive and stifling I would make the most of it"

"I know Leonard means well" Penny scolded herself for saying the wrong thing "but he needs to give me a chance to do things, I'm pregnant not ill"

Amy turned away, she would give everything for Sheldon to be the way Leonard was, the way Leonard always head been with Penny. From the moment Amy met them she knew they would end up together. Even Leonard's relationship with Raj's sister hadn't given Amy any doubt. Priya was just a distraction. Everything Leonard did was for Penny and Amy wished Sheldon would do the same.

"Look" Penny smiled "Sheldon does love you, look at how much you've changed him, have you spoken to him about this?"

"Yes" Amy tried to dry the tears with her sleeve, but they just kept coming "he said he's not ready yet"

"Okay" Penny said "so he hasn't said never"

"No, but I'm not getting any younger and I just can't help but think if we don't do it now, we never will"

"You can't push sheldon into things like ths, believe me i've tried"

"I just want a baby so much"

Penny knew what Amy was saying. it had never been a secret that Amy didn't like the snail like speed that her and Sheldon's relationship was plodding along at. Penny had been there for Amy at all the relationship milestones that she and Sheldon had reached and, if she was honest, she had felt frustrated on Amy's behalf at the speed, or lack of it. Penny's impression of Sheldon had been that he was just impossible to deal with and she didn't know how Amy managed to be so patient with him. Penny tried for years when Sheldon refused to let Leonard move out of their apartment, following a roommate agreement and a bathroom schedule hadn't been easy, and had proved even more difficult to get out of than penny ever imagined. Both she and Leonard were pleased for the peace and quiet that Sheldon moving out had left them.


	6. Chapter 6

Every other Saturday the girls would all meet up for a girls' night. Penny and Bernadette had started it years ago but, after a shaky start, Amy had fitted in well. Raj had joined them on a couple of occasions but generally it was just the three of them. this week it was Penny's turn to host and she wasn't sure if Amy would come. They hadn't really spoken since it had all gotten too much for Amy a few days previously and she had walked out.

Penny sent Amy a text

I hope to see you at girls night, bestie. You know you're always welcome xxx

Amy's phone beeped with a message from Penny, she didn't know whether to look or not. She knew that she had ruined Penny's night, even if Penny had insisted she hadn't, and wasn't sure if she could face her or not. She knew Bernadette would want her there and that they would both miss her. Amy decided that it would be best to go. She was worried that if she didn't the awkwardness would become unbearable and she wasn't sure if they would ever get over it.

Wouldn't miss it for the world xxxx

Penny was relieved that Amy was going to come; but worried that it would be a disaster. She had told Amy that she hadn't ruined their day, but was a little bit disappointed. Penny was so upset that she had broken Amy's heart, but thought she couldn't put her, and Leonard's lives on hold any longer that she already had to accommodate Sheldon's quirky needs.

For the first time ever, Bernadette was nervous about going to girl's night. She could sort of understand Amy's view on things, but it seemed that it was Penny's turn to be in the spotlight seeing as it had been less than nine months since Amy and Sheldon got married.

Penny took the wine out of the fridge. She didn't know if any of it would get drunk, but it was there if Amy or Bernadette wanted it. She had considered inviting Stuart's new girlfriend, Denise, but decided that that might just make things even more difficult, so hadn't.

"Hey" Bernadette called, letting herself into the apartment; all three of them had got tot eh point where they knew they could just walk into each other's places without knocking. Although, ever since the infamous 'naughty carrot' incident, where Bernadette, Howard, Raj and Raj's then girlfriend Emily had walked in on Leonard dressed in one of Penny's rather revealing nighties, Bernadette was always a little nervous about it "are you ready for another sober girl's night mommy to be?"

"I have wine" Penny smiled "but I'm not going to drink it, it's for you and Amy"

"Thanks" Bernadette opened the bottle straight away and filled it up, almost to the top "think I'm going to need this"

"Have you spoken to Amy?"

"Not since we found out that little Hoff is a little miss" Bernadette smiled "sunk in yet?"

"Nope" to be honest, it's not even sunk in that I'm going to have a baby, yet"

"even though you've been so sick up to now?"

"Yeah, but I spent my twenties being sick most mornings, and there was no baby at the end of that"

"Hi" Amy walked into the apartment a little sheepishly "how are you both?"

"I'm good" Bernadette smiled

"it's lovely to see you" Penny smiled "come here and give me a hug"

"I'm so sorry" Amy burst into tears and scolded herself for doing so "I didn't mean to ruin things"

"Don't be silly" Penny could feel herself welling up too "are you okay? I was worried about you"

"well it's no secret that I would like to have a child one day too" Amy wiped the tears away from her eyes "but I'm so happy for you and want to know all about it, come on, let's discuss names"

Penny walked over to the breakfast bar in the kitchen area of the apartment and poured her best friend a massive glass of wine, almost as big as the one Bernadette had poured herself a few minutes before. Penny was glad that Amy was coming to terms with it all, but thought it was till going to be hard for her. She hoped that it wouldn't be too long before Sheldon became ready to be a father, but feared it would.

"So come on then" Amy teased what do you have in mind?"

"I have no idea" Penny laughed "Leonard keeps coming up with names that are either comic book, film or science related and I'm just not sure I like them"

"Like what?" Bernadette was pleased Amy had initiated the conversation

"Indiana" Penny pulled a face "like Indiana Jones"

"Oh no" Amy put her head in her hands "any others?"

"Aurora" Penny responded "that's another of Leonard's favourites, and Marie"

"What do you like" Bernadette asked "this is your baby too"

"I quite like Alice" Penny smiled "Alice Hofstadter"

"Well, you've got a while to decide" Bernadette reminded her "we didn't decide on Halley's name until the day she was born"


	7. Chapter 7

An intense sense of loneliness fell over Amy as she returned from girl's night that evening. She didn't know how she had managed to put on a brave face for that length of time. Her eyes were sore from where she kept running them to make sure she didn't cry and she was mentally exhausted at putting up the pretence for so long.

Sheldon wasn't there. He and Leonard had gone out for a bit, Amy found it a little bit odd that Sheldon was out so late, but knew that he was trying to stretch himself for everyone's benefit so didn't worry too much. She pulled a bottle of red wine from the shelf and poured himself a large glass. She didn't know how she was going to get through the rest of Penny's pregnancy without saying something she would regret.

Amy felt like she had nowhere to turn. Her normal place to go and vent was the one place she needed to vent about, her husband wouldn't be very helpful; he never was when it came to things like this. Bernadette would take Penny's side, Amy knew that, but neither of them had been in the same position Amy was in The last to kiss, the last to become intimate, the last to become engaged, the last to get married and now the last to have a baby.

As she downed the glass of wine she couldn't help but let a tear slip down her cheek. She read through all the text messages that Penny had sent recently. Some about the baby, some about life in general, some complaining about her job and other things. Amy recognised the friendship flowing through the messages from both sides and felt a little guilty. There was no reason for her to be jealous really, she knew she'd have lots of time with the baby, but she still felt it and was worried she would never shake it.

Penny looked longingly at the half drunk bottle of wine stat stood in her fridge. It was almost as if she could hear it calling out 'drink me, drink me'

"I've been sober for too long" she sighed

"It's all for a good cause" Leonard interrupted her thoughts "this no drinking thing"

"I know" Penny responded "but I'm still allowed to look longingly"

"Okay" Leonard smiled "how was girls night, did Amy kick off?"

"Surprisingly, no" Penny answered, puzzled "she apologised and then asked me about names"

"Aww, did you tell them about little Indiana Hofstadter?"

"We are not naming our baby Indiana"

"Okay, well it's good that Amy is okay"

"I'm not sure that she is" Penny sighed "I think she's holding something back"

"Well, maybe talk to her"

"No!" Penny sunk her head into her hands "I am fed up of asking her if she's okay and tiptoeing around her, it's like I'm not allowed to talk about the baby for fear of upsetting her"

"well, that's how its been all this time with Sheldon" Leonard rolled her eyes "it's your turn now"

"This is my baby" Penny ignored him "and if I want to ask Bernadette how long her morning sickness was or if they considered any other names then I will"

"Good for you" Leonard took a step backwards "did you happen to ask her how long these bouts of rage will last?"

"No!" Penny rolled her eyes again

"ah well, maybe next time"


	8. Chapter 8

it was around four thirty in the morning when Penny woke with a start. There was no reason, no noises, no immense need for the bathroom or extreme thirst that woke her up and, for a change, Leonard wasn't snoring so loudly that Amy and Sheldon could hear it in their apartment. Penny decided that lying in bed listening to Leonard no snore wasn't a good idea, the silence was deafening, and so she got out of bed and went to sit on the sofa in the living room. She flicked through Facebook on her phone and Amy's profile came up. her profile photo was her and Sheldon on their wedding day and penny smiled at the lovely memories they had shared on that day and the other two wedding day's the group had had.

Amy lay in bed, wide awake. The night was passing very slowly today, even though Amy's sleepless nights were torture, this night seemed particularly difficult to get through. She had been asleep for a couple of hours, but a dream had woke her up. It was a lovely dream. A dream about the family they could've had, but with everyday Amy thought that a dream would be all it ever was. Amy knew she was hurting Penny and wanted to tell her the real truth, and show her the grainy image she carried around in a envelope in her purse. Where no one could see it.

Leonard was the first of the Hofstadter's to wake the next morning. It was Sunday so neither of them had to go to work or be anywhere. He quietly got out of bed and crept into the living room. He had been aware of penny being a little bit restless in the night and wanted to make her a nice cup of tea to wake up to.

"Good morning" Penny got up a little earlier than Leonard had hoped "is that tea for me?"

"Yeah" Leonard smiled at her, her bump was getting more noticeable now "I was going to bring it to you in bed"

"Aww, thank you" Penny rubbed her eyes "but I'm up now, so I'll just collapse on the sofa"

"Okay"

"I've been thinking" Penny rubbed her stomach "I think I need to have this out with Amy"

"Why?" Leonard wondered out loud "I thought she was okay yesterday"

"she was" Penny responded "but I get the feeling that it was a bit of a front"

"What are you going to say"

"The truth" Penny pulled a face "that I'm sick of watching what I say and treading on egg shells around her, I should be allowed to speak about my baby with my friends and laugh at how certain names sound with Hofstadter as the surname. I'm going to ask her if shes just jealous, and if she is, then this is something she needs to sort out with Sheldon, and if it's not then I need to know the real reason"

"Okay"

"I don't want to lose her, but we can't carry on like this"


	9. Chapter 9

Penny decided that this was a now or never moment. She had made the decision to talk to Amy so she needed to do it straight away. There was no putting it off any more. She walked across the hall and knocked a couple of times before letting herself in. Penny knew that Sheldon wouldn't be there because Leonard had offered to take him to the comic book store.

"Amy, are you in here?" Penny called "I think we need to talk..."

Amy was curled up on her bed. Her eyes were red and swollen from where she had very obviously been sobbing "please" Amy managed "not now, I know I've been distant, but I don't want to talk about this now"

"Whats wrong?" Penny ran over to her and gave her a big hug "what's going on, Amy please tell me"

Amy opened her bottom drawer and pulled out a photograph, which she gave to Penny "no one in the world knows about this, except me, and the doctors"

"Doctors?" Penny took the photograph out of Amy's hands and looked at it "Amy, this is a scan photo, and it's got your name on it"

"Yes" Amy replied "it's my scan photo"

"So" Penny was gobsmacked "are you pregnant too?"

"I was" Amy responded "I got pregnant on my birthday last year, I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to worry Sheldon and I didn't want everyone to fuss over me, I thought I'd get the scan over and done with and then tell everyone"

"But Amy, that was months ago "Penny sat down on the end of the bed "what happened to the baby?"

"I went for my scan, on my own" Amy's voice started to quiver "and they told me that the baby's heart had stopped beating"

"Oh my god. Amy" Penny also started to cry "why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want everyone to think i was a failure, I wanted to get my head around it all, deal with it myself. Then I was just about to tell everyone and you said you were pregnant, I didn't want to worry you

"Oh, Amy, I'm so sorry"

"don't be" Amy gave a little smile "I'm so happy for you, Penny, it's just perfect for you, it's just been really difficult for me"

"Now I understand, and I have no idea how much you are hurting. I feel so guilty, I thought you were just jealous"

"Well I am, but for different reasons from what you thought"

"Does Sheldon know"

"No, you're the only one in the world who knows"

"So you've been trying really hard to be interested in little Hoff, but at the same time your heart has been breaking, grieving for the baby you lost"

"yes"

"and you've been doing it all alone, with no one to talk to? While I've been going on and on about the baby, and being upset that it seemed forced"

"Don't worry, Penny" Amy wiped even more tears away from her eyes "you weren't to know, I don't blame you, if it was the other way around I would have thought the same"

"you've done a really good job of hiding it"

"I think now I should have told someone, I don't think I've grieved properly"

"I think you need to tell Sheldon, today"

"No, he would worry"

"Amy it's not right to keep it from him, this was his baby too, and he'd want you to tell him"

Amy knew Penny was right, but didn't want to admit it, she felt that she had left it too long now, but knew that it would eat her up inside, at least Penny knew now why she had been distant and why the baby talk had been forced. Amy knew she would have to address these problems before the baby was born, but she didn't know how or when she would feel better.

Penny walked back across the hall, now in a very sombre mood. How could she have been so, insensitive, why did she wait so long to push it all out of her? This explained the day of the gender reveal and the girl's night. It just explained everything. Penny couldn't even begin to imagine what Amy was going through, the pain she must be feeling. It should have been Amy that everyone was fussing over. Amy should be annoyed with Penny for stealing her thunder. She looked at the scan photo of her daughter and held it close to her heart. In that moment, it hit her, she was going to be a mom and she had never known this feeling of immense love and protection over anyone before.


	10. Chapter 10

Penny was still trying to take in what Amy had said to her. She tried to imagine how she would have felt if it had been her, but then stopped. It was far to painful to even consider. There was no way she would have coped with that even with Leonard's help. Penny felt a tear run down her face, quickly followed by a massive sob as all the anger, guilt and frustration fell down her face. She felt guilty about not being sure if she was ready for the baby, she felt frustrated that she hadn't seen it and realised before now. She knew that Amy wouldn't be worrying about all this, she probably felt so much better now that she had told someone.

"You okay?" Leonard asked her, as he walked through the door "Amy told me you're a little upset"

"No" Penny shook her head "no I'm not"

"Oh my God, is it the baby?" Leonard panicked in the cute way he always did "what's happening, do we need to go to the emergency room?"

"No, our baby is fine" Penny could feel herself welling up again "but Sheldon and Amy's baby isn't "

"Sheldon and Amy's baby?" Leonard repeated, unnecessarily "they don't have a baby"

"They did" Penny wiped the tears away from her eyes "Amy had a miscarriage"

"What?"

"I know"

"when did you find that out?"

"Just now, while you were at the comic book store dealing with fantasy, we were here dealing with real life"

Sheldon sat himself down on the couch and pulled out the latest copy of Spiderman that he had just purchased from the Comic Book Store. As Amy watched him she thought her heart might burst with love for him, she knew Penny was right, she had to tell him, but she didn't want to break his heart. She slowly walked over to him and sat down next to him on the couch

"Sheldon, we need to talk" Amy closed her eyes mentally preparing herself to go through it all again, months after it had happened, but only for the second time "something's happened, and I need to tell you"

As Amy went through the sad story again, she watched his face change. He wasn't sure what to say, or to be honest, what to feel. He knew Amy was obviously hurting, and now realised why she was so jealous of Penny and Leonard. He also knew why she had been spending less and less time with Halley and Michael.

"So" for the first time ever Sheldon didn't know what to say "Why did you leave it until now to tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you" Amy sighed "and then Penny announced her news, and I didn't want her to worry that it would happen to her, it was all such bad timing"

"But we're married now" Sheldon's voice started to raise "we're not supposed to have secrets, I told you about getting my driving licence"

"this is a bit different to getting a driving licence " Amy couldn't believe that they were having this conversation "I was pregnant, Sheldon, and our baby died. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was trying to get my own head around it"

"Excuse me" Sheldon just walked out, just like every time things got tough, and Amy was just left there on her own. Amy knew that she was right to have told him, but couldn't believe the way he had responded. It was all bad timing, she didn't blame Penny, there was no way she could have known, or planned her baby around Amy's loss, but she couldn't help but think that if Penny hadn't become pregnant this would have been a whole lot easier.

The meal that night was a sombre occasion. Leonard was glad it was just him and Penny, he wouldn't know what to say to Sheldon and had even less idea on what to say to Amy. He watched Penny play with the food on her plate, hardly touching any of it and he did the same. A couple of times he went to say something, but stopped himself for fear of upsetting Penny more that she clearly already was

"I just can't get my head around it" Penny interrupted his thoughts "Amy's Baby died"

"I know" Leonard responded "its a real shame"


	11. Chapter 11

Sheldon Cooper looked up at the boards in LAX airport. There was a flight to Texas in about two hours. With no luggage except his phone and wallet he thought that would be enough time to get through security. He regretted walking out on Amy in the way he did, but he didn't know what to do or say. To him the thought of children seemed years away, even though he knew Amy wanted them, But he knew deep down in his heart that he would have loved that baby, after all, it was half his and half Amy's. He hoped his mom and meemaw were at home, he hadn't thought to check, but he just needed to see them both. All through the flight he didn't think of anything other than Amy and the baby. He hoped Penny and Leonard were there for her as he couldn't be. Three hours later he landed safely in Texas, hailed a cab and headed to his mother's house.

Amy tried to call Sheldon again for the tenth time that morning. To begin with she had given him some time to calm down, but when he didn't return home for lunch she tried calling him. She went over to Penny's to see if he was there, but neither she nor Leonard had seen him either. She called Howard and Bernadette to no avail and was just about to call Raj when a text came through

Gone to moms, need to think, don't worry. Sheldon xxx

She sighed with relief, at least she knew where he was now, as her worry subsided her anger grew. How dare he go off and leave her like this, how dare he abandon her at such a crucial time in their lives. Had she made a terrible mistake in marrying him? Had she just committed herself to a life of misery and being second best in both mind and emotions? Amy called Penny and told them where he was and not to worry. Then she got into her pyjamas, unheard of during the day for Amy, and snuggled into bed. Taking the time to think about her marriage that had failed at the first hurdle, and the great sense of loss she was feeling. Until she had told Penny she had managed, somehow, to keep most of the emotions locked up and now it seemed they were all coming out at once.

As the cab driver drove Sheldon from the airport to his childhood home he looked around at the state of Texas that he loved so much. The familiarity of his home town was very nostalgic for Sheldon and he smiled as all the memories of growing up there flooded back to him. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, he felt very sad that his son or daughter wouldn't be able to see all the scenery that he could. He was sad that it would never witness Sheldon roll his eyes as his mother prayed for the baby's soul, or see meemaw magically produce a tissue from her sleeve. Sheldon thought that maybe he was ready to bring a child into the world with Amy. And maybe he would talk to his mom and meemaw about it before he made the final decision. But he knew Amy would be happy to try for a baby, while never forgetting the one they lost.


	12. Chapter 12

Mary Cooper was a very strong woman. For more than twenty years she had been alone. Her husband had died at a young age and left her with three teenagers to Bring up. Her mother, Connie, had helped out where she could, but she had her own life and Mary didn't want to stand in her way or take anything away from her. Mary hadn't seen Sheldon since his and Amy's wedding so when he turned up at her door it was a lovely surprise.

"Hi Mom" Sheldon said in a deadpan voice "how are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine, Shelly" Mary used her nickname for Sheldon "how are you and how is Amy?"

"Not good" Sheldon burst into tears "Mommy, something terrible has happened"

"Oh, Sheldon, what is it?" Mary took her son into her arms "tell me"

"Where's Meemaw?" Sheldon managed to ask for his grandmother through the tears "can she come too? I can't Tell this story twice"

Mary called her mother who, without any question, came straight over to listen to Sheldon. Connie had been the one person that could get through to Sheldon over a lot of things and, although Amy and she hadn't always get along, Connie had warmed to her too.

Sheldon sat them both down and told the story for the first time ever. Both of them were crying by the time he had finished, Connie had run out of tissues up her sleeve and was now using her cuff to dry her tears.

"Oh Sheldon" Mary wasn't sure what to say "I'm so sorry this happened to you both"

"What do I do Mom?" Sheldon sobbed "I don't know what to do"

"Where's Amy?" Connie asked him "is she okay?"

"I don't know" Sheldon answered "I just walked out, got on a plane, and came here"

"You did what?" Mary's voice had turned to anger now "you can't leave that poor girl in that state and come here"

"Amy has Penny and Bernadette to look after her" Sheldon defended, trying to reason with them "she'll be okay"

"But she needs you" Connie insisted "yes she has her friends, but she needs her husband at a time like this and, while I totally agree she should have told you sooner, you should be with her, comforting her, making sure she knows what happened wasn't her fault"

"Maybe you're right" Sheldon sighed "I think I just panicked"

"And that's understandable" Connie assured him "but you need to go back to California as soon as you can, and put things right with Amy"

"I'll come with you" Mary told him "lets look up flights now"


	13. Chapter 13

Sheldon was unusually quiet on the plane home. For him, it was a personal achievement, two planes withing the same day, but it was also a very sad day.

"It'll be okay" Mary reassured him, interrupting his thoughts "she'll see you just panicked and she'll forgive you"

"what if she doesn't?" Sheldon pleaded "what if she never forgives me?"

"Sheldon, she loves you" Mary answered, a little shorter than she had intended "she will forgive you"

Penny had no idea how long Amy had been sobbing on her shoulder. Sheldon walking out like that had really upset them all, even though Leonard wasn't surprised. It wasn't unusual for Sheldon to get up and run away like this. When Penny and Leonard had wanted to move in together, he had spent months travelling the USA train system all over the country until he had been robbed. Leonard knew he would come back and apologise to Amy, but he didn't know if they could get through this, Sheldon had really upset Penny and Amy and Leonard knew he had put him in a really bad position.

Amy looked out of her kitchen window and tried to wipe her tears away, but they wouldn't stop coming. She had enjoyed the hug from Penny, but knew that it should have been Sheldon in that position cuddling her and telling her that all would be okay. She had received some lovely texts from Bernadette, but she couldn't bring herself to go there, seeing Bernadette's two gorgeous babies, in some way, was worse than seeing Penny pregnant. Amy didn't know why, so she just responded with a few kisses in the hope that it wouldn't be long until she could go there again and spend time with the kids. The thought of them made Amy's eyes well up again and fresh tears fell down her cheeks

"I'm so sorry, Amy" Sheldon put his hands on Amy's shoulders, she hadn't even realised they had come in "I shouldn't have just left you like that"

"No, you shouldn't" Amy answered, angrily "I needed you and you weren't here for me"

"I needed to tell Mom and Meemaw" Sheldon's pleading fell on deaf ears "I didn't know what to say to you"

"you didn't have to say anything; you could have just held me"

"I know, I'm sorry" Sheldon held her close "mom is here to see you too"

"Oh, hello Mrs. Cooper" Amy hadn't realised they had a visitor "I didn't see you there"

"No problem sweetheart" Mary took Amy into her arms too "I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, how are you feeling?"

"Thank you" Amy sniffed "I'll be okay; Leonard and Penny have been very supportive"

"Unfortunately, Penny is pregnant" Sheldon told his mother, thinking that he should have already said that "she's having a girl"

"That's good news" Mary smiled it's just a shame, the timing could've been better"

"It's okay" Amy tried to convince herself "I'm really happy for them, Penny didn't think she could have children, and this baby is a little miracle for them"

"and how do you feel?" Mary thought that getting her to discuss her feelings would be helpful, especially as it took her so long to tell anyone how you are coping with it"

"I'm a little bit jealous" Amy admitted, truthfully "but I'm honestly happy for them, I can't wait to be Little Hoff's fun aunt Amy"


	14. Chapter 14

It was another beautiful day in Pasadena. Sheldon had been sitting looking out the window for so long, even he wasn't sure how long any more. All he knew was that he had seen the sun rise and most of the occupants of the building start their day. It had been three weeks since he had found out Amy's news, and he still wasn't sure he'd dealt with it properly. Mary had stayed for a week to talk Amy through it all and she seemed much better, had a new lease of life and had gone back to work.

"You ready to go?" Amy interrupted his thoughts "I am"

"Not today" Sheldon turned to her with a look that she had never seen before, there was a smile, but it wasn't as creepy as some of the smiles he had given her over the years "I thought we'd have a day at home together"

"why?" Amy was puzzled, it was very unusual for Sheldon to take a day off work, even when he was sick, which he didn't seem to be "Sheldon, it's Friday, we go to work on Friday"

"I know" Sheldon winked at her "but today I thought we could start trying for another baby"

"What?" Amy felt her legs go like jelly and stumbled forward to the back of the sofa, leaning on it to break her fall "you want to try for a baby?"

"Don't you?" Sheldon feared he had done the wrong thing again "I thought it was what you wanted"

"It is" Amy smiled "I want a baby more than you will ever know, but are you sure you're ready? I mean, what if it happens again, can you deal with that?"

"It won't" Sheldon responded, a little more positively than he truly believed "this baby will be fine, the odds of it happening again are low"

"are you sure?" Amy could feel her voice quivering "I don't think I could go through it alone again"

"Amy" Sheldon looked her in the eyes, something that was still rare, but happening more and more recently "I can't promise that we won't lose another baby, I can't promise the pregnancy will be plain sailing, I can't even promise that you'll get pregnant again, but I can promise you that, whatever happens, you will never be alone again. I will never walk out on you like I did last time. That was wrong, and I'm truly sorry. I promise you, that I will be here for you every step of the way, or at least do my best to be"

"Thank you Sheldon, that means a lot"

Penny walked into the maternity unit at the hospital and sat down on the first chair she could see. She wondered why hospitals always had the most uncomfortable chairs; she thought that, with the prices they charge for insurance, they would be able to afford some slightly comfortable chairs. Leonard sat down next to her, on many occasions he went to say something, but thought better of it. He knew that she was nervous, and didn't want to make it worse for her. Penny held her hand out to watch it; she was visibly shaking, and looked at her watch every two seconds

"You okay?" Leonard asked her before he had a chance to think "you're shaking"

"I'm just so nervous" Penny told him truthfully "I'm worried our baby will die like Amy's did"

"Oh Penny" Leonard took her hands "what happened to Amy was tragic, but with every day you go through this pregnancy, the chance of miscarriage gets slimmer and slimmer. I'm sure this baby will be fine"

After a few more agonising minutes the sonographer came out, Penny looked at her longingly, hoping upon hope that her name would be called

"Penelope Hofstadter" the lady called

"yes!" Penny got out of her seat and practically ran across the room to her "sorry, I'm really nervous"

"There's no need to be nervous" the lady smiled, trying to comfort her "let's take a look"

After the scan, Penny felt much better, the baby was doing fine and was very strong.

"Do you feel better now?" Leonard smiled at her as they climbed back into the car "Now you know she's okay"

"Oh much" Penny responded, clearly much happier "I need to just enjoy this pregnancy now, or else I will go mad"

"yes you do" Leonard chuckled, relieved "so, have you thought of a name for this little one?"

"Yes" Penny smiled; she was very honoured that Leonard had given her the final say over the baby's name "Megan"

"I love it" Leonard smiled "Megan Hofstadter"


	15. Chapter 15

As the months passed, Penny really started to enjoy her pregnancy, every time she felt Megan move she smiled. It was a lovely feeling knowing she was never alone. Megan would wiggle every time she managed a sale at work and kick at everyone that touched Penny's stomach except Leonard. Before they knew it, Penny's due date came and went. Two weeks later, still no baby and Penny was starting to get a little bit uncomfortable

"dear God Hofstadter" Penny scowled at her husband "why did we think this was a good idea?"

"You feeling a little uncomfortable?" Leonard sounded patronising, but didn't mean to

"No" Penny answered sarcastically "having a baby pull on my stomach, give me stretch marks and use my bladder as a stress ball is very comfortable"

"Sorry" Leonard rubbed her back "hopefully it wont be too much longer"

"well if it is much longer" Penny snapped "I'll pull your balls so hard they pop off"

"Okay" Leonard could feel himself squirm at the thought "let's hope she comes soon then"

"I'm sorry" Penny burst into tears "I just can't carry on much longer"

"Hey, it's okay" Leonard assured her "I'm sure they'll induce you soon"

"I hope so"

"Hey Penny how are you?" Amy looked more happier than she had in a long time "are you okay?"

"Not really" Penny wiped her eyes "I'm starting to get a bit fed up"

"Well" Amy's smile grew even more "I've got something to tell you, and I'm pretty sure it'll cheer you up"

"Well, unless it's that they're inducing me today" Penny smiled "I'm not sure what that would be"

"I'm pregnant" Amy threw her new scan photo into Penny's hands and started dancing around the apartment "three month's pregnant"

"Oh wow, Amy" Penny tried to get up to give her a hug but gave up "that's fantastic, that did cheer me up"

"I knew it would" Amy's smile had changed into a beam "I can't believe I'm pregnant"

"Is everything okay this time?" Leonard asked "sorry, I mean..."

"it's okay" Amy told him "everything is okay and we're not thinking about last time"

"Good for you, Amy" Penny smiled "our babies will be about six months apart"

"Yep" Amy was so pleased "we can breast feed each other's babies"

"No we can't" Penny laughed "that is never happening"


	16. Chapter 16

"Well that was painful" Penny bit her lip as she remembered how much pain she had been in for the last seventeen hours "but she's so beautiful"

"she is isn't she" Leonard looked down at his daughter laying in his wife's arms and could not think of a time he had loved Penny more. Megan was beautiful. The absolute spitting image of his wife, with his ears "you're so beautiful too, Penny"

"I don't feel it" Penny responded, after six stitches and seventeen hours of labour, she could think of a time she had felt better "I have a completely new adoration for Bernadette"

"How are you feeling?" Leonard kissed his wife

"A little sore, but not too bad" Penny could feel her eyes dropping "and maybe a little tired "

"I'm going to tell the other's she's here " Leonard couldn't wait to tell his friends "is that okay?"

"Sure" Penny smiled "they can come in now"

As Leonard walked out of the room to tell his friends about Megan's birth Penny looked down at her and cried. How could she think she loved Leonard as much as she could love anyone? This little bundle of joy was a miracle and she couldn't believe she had done it. Penny lifted her phone up and took a photo of her and the baby before sending it to her and Leonard's families.

 _After seventeen hours and six stitches, here she is. Megan Beverley Susan Hofstadter xxx_

Before she could even put her phone down her sister and mom had texted back saying they couldn't wait to meet Megan and congratulations

"can I come in?" Amy smiled "I'd like to meet her"

"Sure" Penny smiled "would you like to hold her?"

"Really?" Amy looked at Penny, thankfully "are you sure?"

"Of course" Penny answered "she needs to get to know her god mother"

"Say again?" Amy couldn't believe what she was hearing. She never thought she would have any friends, now she had friends, a husband, a baby on the way and she had been asked to be a god mother

"Sure" Penny answered "but only if you want to"

"Of course I do" Amy felt a tear fall down her face "I would love to be her God mother"

"Good"

"Can the rest of us come in?" Bernadette called from the door "Amy snuck in before Leonard had a chance to tell us"

"Sure" Penny laid herself back down onto the bed and allowed herself to shut her eyes. She knew Megan was in good hands while she took five minutes for a little power nap, "thank you, all of you"

"What for?" Bernadette asked her "we're all friends, if you need any help, we are all here for you, you don't have to thank us"

Penny didn't hear what Bernadette had said. She had fallen into a deep sleep. Leonard went over and laid a blanket on her.

"Poor thing is exhausted" Howard sympathised "I remember just after Halley was born you did the same thing, Bernadette"

"I'm still tired" Bernadette laughed "I think I will be until Michael is eighteen"

"thanks for that" Leonard joked "I suppose I better get used to not sleeping"

"So" Sheldon asked "do you have a full name for her yet?"

"Yes" Leonard smiled "this is Megan Beverley Susan Hofstadter"

"Oh lovely" Amy smiled "after your mom and Penny's mom"

"That's right" Leonard answered "mother said she would find that perfectly acceptable"

"Like when Penny said she'd have another wedding so she could attend" Bernadette reminded him

"Exactly" Leonard smiled "I guess that's all we're ever going to get out of her"

"Oh no" Penny woke with a start "where's Megan?"

"it's okay" Leonard took the baby out of Amy's arms and took her back to her mother "she's here"

"Okay" Penny kissed her on the head "when do we get to take her home?"

"Soon" Leonard smiled "they just need to check her over"

"Why?" Penny started crying "what's wrong with her?"

"Nothing" Leonard smiled "they check every baby before they let them home, it's just procedure"

"Okay" Penny could feel her eyes going again "as long as she's okay"

"I think we ought to go home" Bernadette smiled "leave the little family alone, Penny is tired "

"Okay" Amy agreed reluctantly "I suppose we can spend time with her when she gets home"

"Exactly" Bernadette smiled "tell Penny we said goodbye"

"Of course I will" Leonard answered "thank you for coming"

As his friends walked out of the room, Penny and Megan were all that were on Leonard's mind. He couldn't believe nearly thirteen years had passed since the day he met Penny when she moved into the apartment across the hall. He thought about all they had gone through in those thirteen years. Breaking up and getting back together so many times that Leonard had lost count. Getting married, twice, putting up with Sheldon. Penny being told she couldn't have children, and now their little miracle was here and Leonard thought that life could not get any better than they were in that moment. He had been blessed and no matter what happened in the future. No one could take this moment away from him.

"The Hofstadter equation is complete" he whispered to his daughter "you and your mommy make my life complete"


End file.
